We are pleased to have with us the world's foremost expert on a long forgotten British rock group called The Mod-est Lads. Please introduce yourself.

Thank you, Claude. My name is Angus P. Jackson, and I'm happy to be here today to tell your readers what I know about The Mod-est Lads.

___ Well, to be quite honest, nobody really knows. That's why I've spent most of the last two years searching for information about them. All I know for sure is that next to the debate over whether Elvis is still alive, they're the biggest mystery in the history of rock and roll.

___ There's virtually nothing to prove that they ever existed. All we have is a tape of a song they recorded called, "They Stand Straight Up (When She Lays Down)."

___ Not as far as anyone knows. I discovered it in a box of reel-to-reel tapes I bought just out of curiosity a couple of years ago for two dollars at a second hand store in Chicago. The owner of the store said they came from a recording studio somewhere in England, but he didn't know any more than that. The tapes were very old and only one of them was playable. There was just one song on it, and it was by a group called The Mod-est Lads.

___ No. All the labels had fallen off and been lost. It just so happened that there was a sealed envelope in the bottom of the tape box , and it contained original artwork for the sleeve for a single by a group called The Mod-est Lads. After listening to the song, it was obvious that the two were connected. Unfortunately, we'll never know what was on the rest of those tapes.

That is a shame. There might have been a lot of great music that's been lost forever.

___ That's so true! Anyway, the song was quite unlike anything I'd ever heard, so I wanted to learn all I could about the band. Although I found hints and vague references, there was nothing authoritative. Before I knew it, I became obsessed with the subject. The amazing thing is, information about them is so scarce that I'm not really any closer to discovering the truth than I was when I started.

___ Apparently, they were the most popular group in their home city of Bladderpool for a few months in 1965. The most believable of the few people who claim to remember them insist they had the potential to be superstars. That's why it's so puzzling that they suddenly disappeared without a trace. They've never been heard from again, and nobody even knows if they're still alive. If any of them are, they probably have no idea that their song has been re-discovered.

Only that their first names were Simon, Peter, Reggie, and Stu, but that hasn't been any help. Especially since some sources insist their names were Ian, Nicky, Roger, and Clive.

___ None that anyone knows about. The record cover features a very amusing caricature of the four members playing their instruments, but there's no way to tell which one is which, or even if the drawing is an accurate representation of their faces.

But surely you could trace them through old newspaper articles, school records, that sort of thing. Isn't there some kind of paper trail

Strangely enough, there isn't. You see, Bladderpool, is a rather small industrial city in northeast England. In 1968, a fire caused by a toxic chemical spill destroyed part of the city, including the only newspaper office and all of the official city records. Since the Lads' last names are unknown, it's virtually impossible to trace them through other records.

That's another problem. Today, Bladderpool is almost a ghost town. Most of the factories closed in the sixties and seventies, and many people left to find work elsewhere. There are still a few people there who swear they remember the Lads, but sadly they tend to be either mentally unbalanced, heavy drinkers, or both. They're not the most reliable sources.

That is unfortunate. But if The Mod-est Lads were so popular, didn't they play in other cities?

Apparently not. It's quite possible they were so popular in Bladderpool that was no reason for them to play elsewhere at that point.

___ Now, you say that they suddenly just disappeared despite being so popular. And they haven't been heard from since? What could possibly explain that?

___ Here's where it gets really interesting. There are literally hundreds of conflicting stories. Some quite plausible, and others that are utterly ridiculous.

One of the most intriguing is that The Mod-est Lads was actually a secret side project for various members of the most popular British bands of the time. Depending on who you believe, just about any given member of the Beatles, Stones, Moody Blues, and The Who to name just a few, is said to have performed under an alias as one of The Mod-est Lads.

___ Fascinating, although highly unlikely. Is there evidence that anybody famous ever actually did play with them?

There is a rumor that Keith Moon saw them one night in Bladderpool and desperately wanted to become their drummer. It's said that he was rejected because, wild as he was, the Lads felt he was far too tame to fit in with them.

Then you have some of the more sensational theories. They were killed by the Mafia for refusing to sign with a certain record company. They joined every kind of religious cult you can imagine. Some people even claim that they were really women! And of course, there's the ever popular belief that they were abducted by aliens, or accidentally slipped through a crack in the space/time continuum. The list goes on and on.

___ Getting back to their recording. Does it offer any kind of clue about who they were and what happened to them?

Not really, although it's the basis for perhaps the most credible theory about their disappearance. You've heard the song, Claude, so you know that it contains a euphemism for breasts that rhymes with "sits" if you won't let me say "tits" in this interview.

Anyway, in 1965 it would have been extremely inappropriate for anyone to play a song with that particular word. According to the story I heard from a source who seemed honest, the Lads were invited to appear live on a nationally broadcast local rock and roll radio show and perform, "They Stand Straight Up (When She Lays Down)." The only condition was that they had to change the word "tits" to "twins." They refused as a matter of artistic principle, and as a result weren't allowed to play on the show. Realizing that they had missed their one chance to make it big, they grew increasingly bitter and soon gave up playing altogether and quietly went their separate ways.>

That's a remarkable story. In fact, the entire legend of The Mod-est Lads is certainly unlike anything I've ever heard. Do you think it's possible that The Mod-est Lads never existed? That they're nothing but a hoax? Perhaps created by you?

___ Absolutely not, Claude. I'm convinced The Mod-est Lads were real, and some day I intend to prove it beyond any doubt.

___ Well, if you say so, I believe it! Thank you, Angus. It was wonderful to have this opportunity to talk with you. Please come back again if you learn anything new about The Mod-est Lads. And if you should ever find any of them, I would like to give them an opportunity to tell their story to the world.

___ I certainly don't plan to give up at this point. I'll also let you know if any more music by The Mod-est Lads is discovered in the future.

What could be more "Mod" then supporting a mythic band?
Send a message to those "image producing fat cats"
that are constantly pushing their made up bands!!!

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